In a recent study done by a leading women’s magazine, women said that their number one complaint about their husband was that he didn’t talk to them enough.
Men, talk to your wives. Talk to your wife about her day and about what interests her and about how she feels. And women, you know that we men are sometimes a little weak in this area, so help us out.
Let me share three steps that can help your husband or wife talk to you more.
1. Show some interest in his or her interests.
This is so important, as this shows that you truly care about the things for which he or she cares.
2. Talk equally.
Make sure that you let your spouse speak as much as you do. It is important to for both parties to feel as though they are being heard and understood.
Husbands and wives, sacrificial love requires affection; it requires conversation and it requires undivided attention.
3. Make conversations with your husband pleasant.
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You can and must discuss some unpleasant things from time to time, but don’t major on them. Don’t spend all your time talking about how your husband has let you down. Make your conversations as pleasant as possible.
Conversation is not an emotional need that can or should be met exclusively in marriage. Your wife or husband’s need for conversation can be met by almost anyone. But if it is one of his or her most important emotional needs, it’s crucial to your marital happiness that you—the spouse—are the one who meets it the best and most often.
The need for conversation is not met by simply talking to someone. It is met when the conversation is enjoyable for both persons involved.
Good conversation is characterized by the following:
- Using it to inform and investigate each other.
- Focusing attention on topics of mutual interest.
- Balancing the conversation so that both have an equal opportunity to talk.
- Giving each other undivided attention while talking to one another.
Conversation fails to meet this when:
- Demands are made.
- Disrespect is shown.
- One or both become angry.
- When it is used to dwell on mistakes of the past or present.
Make your conversations with your spouse enjoyable, engaging and encouraging. Make sure he or she is being respected and understood in the relationship.
Men and women do not have too much difficulty talking to each other during the courtship process, as both are highly motivated to discover each other’s likes and dislikes, personal background, current interests as well as plans for the future.
After marriage, however, many women find that their significant other changes, as he does not engage in conversation as much anymore. Statistically, this can be the same for men (however, slightly lower).
If your wife or husband’s need for conversation was fulfilled during courtship, he or she also expects it to be met after marriage. And if he or she fell in love because you met his or her need for conversation during courtship, he or she risks falling out of love if that need is not met during marriage.
Does he or she have a craving just to talk to someone? Does he or she pick up the telephone just because he or she feels like talking?
Husbands and wives, sacrificial love requires affection; it requires conversation, and it requires undivided attention. Additionally, it requires honesty and openness. Make sure you are giving this to your spouse, as he or she deserves this kind of affection. Humble yourself as you speak to your significant other.