Self-rejection can seep in on the playground, at your church, in your family or at the office, without ever being spotted. It’s slimy, and it’s always evil—straight from the pit of Hell.
The enemy is always the enemy. So no matter if rejection got to you through a friend, a pastor, a spouse or a family member, it’s never the people we are fighting with. It’s always the enemy.
Now, does the enemy love to work through people? Absolutely, no question. And if he can do it through someone super-close to you, he knows that will hurt the worst. This is why forgiving the people around you is so paramount.
As the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8: “Be of sober spirit, be alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
Therefore, friends, we must fight—but we don’t fight alone, and we don’t fight against flesh and blood (See Ephesians 6:12).Truthfully, it’s not even our fight; the Lord says He will fight for us.
In my experience, we do play a part. It’s simple, but for some reason, it doesn’t always feel simple. We must keep our eyes on Jesus Christ, for the Bible says, “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3).
Basically, keeping our minds on Him will give us perfect peace, because we are trusting in Him!
Easier said than done, I know, but it is true.
When we have been hurt by someone, either in our past or in our current situation, we have to forgive them. It’s oddly dangerous not to forgive.
We must forgive all those who have rejected us in our past, or even seemingly rejected us. We must also be aware that self-rejection can cause a lot of our problems; this comes from self-hatred.
Self-rejection and self-hatred were at the root of so many of my problems, but I didn’t know until I dug and dug and dug to the bottom.
You can go straight to the root and yank it out. You can get what took me decades in a moment.
Focusing on your issues won’t set you free. Focusing on the opposite will.
Step 1: We must renew our minds with the truth. We must practice things that are hard for us.
We must accept the fact that we are loved by the God who created us. Even if our parents didn’t know we were coming, our perfect Heavenly Father knew. And not only did He know, He planned it with a purpose for you, and is very, very excited that you are here. He is love, and He loves you most.
Love, Himself created you and loves you most.
Learning to receive God’s love is where we must start, after receiving forgiveness for everything we have ever even thought about doing, through the work of the blood of Jesus Christ.
After we have accepted His sacrifice for us to be redeemed and restored to perfection in the Father’s eyes, the next step is to learn to receive God’s love. That is hard for almost everyone, because we don’t feel worthy of such a love. But that is just what Jesus died for, so not learning to receive it will tell Jesus His pain and suffering had no purpose.
Step 2: Once we begin to learn the love our Father has for us (it’s a life-long, moment-by-moment journey), we can then learn to love Him back with the love He has given to us.
Scripture tells us we only love because He loved us first. It also says the first commandment is to love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Isn’t it sweet that our God gives us all we need to do for what He asks us to do?
Once we begin to love the Lord God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.
What I realized in my journey as I tried so hard to love others was that I didn’t love myself. I would try and try to love others out of straight obedience to the Lord, but it wasn’t with His love. It was a love based in fear, because I feared what God would do if I didn’t do what He said.
So I had to take a step back. I didn’t want to. I wanted to move forward. But He knew I wouldn’t make it very far in my purpose for Him if I didn’t learn this foundation of loving myself.
I found it so hard. I thought it sounded selfish, self-focused. I felt so much condemnation. But now I know that was from the Liar. He also knew this was the key to my destiny. He knew once I understood this, I would become unstoppable in showing the love of the Lord to everyone I met.
Loving yourself is a journey and that’s okay. It is an issue with most people, particularly women. I only know this because after speaking to a pastor friend of mine who counsels countless women, he said nine times out of ten their issue is self-hatred. (I would add to that “self-rejection.”)
So, ladies and gentlemen, we must ask our Father, who knows us best and adores us most, what our next step in this journey is. I share my testimonies with you, but I will never promise you a formula. We don’t need a formula; we need a Papa.
And that’s God.
We need a Counselor and a Comforter who has all the time in the world to talk to us and help us through all we struggle with, and that’s Holy Spirit.
We need a Best Friend who is perfectly fun and kind and loving and for us. And that is Jesus!
Adapted from “Letting Love In, How God Renews Relationships By Crushing Your Inner Critic” by Lindsay Morgan Snyder. Click here to learn more about this title.
This relatable, easy to read book gives guidance to crushing your Inner Critic and spiritual truth to answer the “what do I do now” questions plaguing readers—all with a dash of Snyder’s personal struggles and lighthearted humor. Tackling ten universal lies people of all ages face—from fear and unworthiness to constant worry and discouragement. Snyder reveals the truth to help overcome those lies.
Through practical insight, Snyder leads readers on a journey to identify the internal lies, leading them to crush their Inner Critic one lie at a time. The book has been said by readers to have “heart healing power.”
“The internal fight inside our souls is hard because no one else can tell what’s going on,” Snyder writes. Each chapter features practical guidance to overcome lies that keep us from love. In addition, every chapter ends with action steps and prayers. Snyder writes from the perspective of an empathetic friend on the journey.
Lindsay Morgan Snyder is an author, business owner, ministry student, novice fashion designer and avid entrepreneur. Snyder has worked with top leaders in the leadership space and written for everybody from Hollywood to Homeless shelters. Her love for adventure and random risk has led her to appear on Good Morning America and The Dr. Phil Show. She lives in Los Angeles CA. You can connect with Lindsay at LettingLoveInBook.com.
We would love for you to join our Free Book Club over at wwww.LettingLoveInBook.com where we will learn to crush those lies and let more love into our lives through creativity and listening to God!