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Pressure to Be Perfect: Moms, You Don’t Have to Be Good at Everything!

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Many moms are running themselves ragged, feeling the pressure to be perfect, trying to imitate bloggers and moms who seem to be doing it all. Moms, this one is for you.


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Feeling the pressure to be perfect? Remember, you are smart and strong. You juggle many things (often messy things, like: dirty laundry, a packed schedule and dinner prep) and still look good doing it, even in yoga pants and a messy bun.

I’m not here to put anything else on your plate but I want to take some weight off your shoulders; you don’t have to be good at everything!

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Your worth is not measured by the number of homemade birthday cakes you make. Your value is not based on whether or not you run a half marathon. Your home decorating skills, or lack thereof, are not what determines your success. Where did this idea come from, that today’s mom needs to be an expert at everything?

We could blame it on reality TV shows or pretty n’ perfect Pinterest boards. Regardless, it’s time to throw off this notion that we should be experts at every domestic and marketplace skill.

I’m confident there is liberation waiting on the flip side of this “I’m every woman” mentality.

Sure, there are some things that only you can do, like: loving your spouse, parenting your kids and showing up for work. But you don’t have to be an interior designer, accomplished seamstress and an expert chef to be considered a good mom. Everywhere we look, we see successful women that seem to be doing it all, but I promise you, they aren’t. They most likely have help and are letting a lot go so they can focus on that one aspect that we see.

I’m confident there is liberation waiting on the flip side of this “I’m every woman” mentality.

Many moms are running themselves ragged, trying to be Joanna Gaines, Vera Wang and the Pioneer Woman all rolled into one. These women are doing amazing things; they each have one predominant area in which they specialize (design, fashion and cooking, respectively).

They are not trying to be an expert in every area. And you don’t have to either.

LightWorkers Motherhood Pressure to be Perfect

Photo by PH888/Shutterstock.com

There is loveliness to be found as you bring your signature dish to the table. But even if that signature dish doesn’t turn out just right, it is not the final say on your worth as a mom.

There is diverse beauty when we each offer our unique contribution… like in the stone soup story. Each townsperson brought what they had on hand to add to the weary traveler’s pot of water and a stone, and it made for delicious soup. If everyone brought the same ingredient, the soup would have been bland. If everyone tried to bring every ingredient, a spirit of competitiveness would have been present instead of a healthy community being fostered. When we offer what we have in our hands (talents and resources) and let others do the same, it ushers in an environment of teamwork and mutual respect.

There is diverse beauty when we each offer our unique contribution

A while ago, I decided not to be the cake decorator in our family. Now, I either purchase a cake or ask my sister-in-law or daughter to bake and decorate it. Even though I think it would be fun to be proficient in this skill, I delegated it because I have other strengths and only so much bandwidth.

Being the best you doesn’t mean being the best in all areas.

This mindset, of trying to be an expert across the board, often leads to discouragement and eventually burn out. Be reasonable with yourself and make room for the strengths of others. If you are the cake decorator, sweet! If you are a mommy blogger, write on! If you are the hanging-on-by-a-thread-where-is-my-coffee mama, solidarity! And as a friend recently said, “Sometimes our best is putting fish sticks on the table to feed hungry bellies.”

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We can appreciate Joanna’s shiplap, Vera’s gowns and Ree’s seven-layer salad but let’s not wear ourselves out and as Steven Furtick says, “compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Let’s not create a recipe for burnout. Let’s pace ourselves and hone in on our special offering for the collective table. Let’s rock our skills and make room for others to showcase theirs. Let’s embrace the beauty found in every woman (including the one in the mirror) by relinquishing our quest of trying to do and be all. Lets reject the pressure to be perfect.

Sometimes our best is putting fish sticks on the table to feed hungry bellies.

Let’s go make some delicious stone soup.

What are some areas that only you can do? What are some areas that you can outsource or swap with a friend (cleaning, grocery shopping, carpooling)?