The Surprising Way to Win a Fight Every Time

When it comes to fighting, author Michelle McKinney Hammond doesn't pull any punches. If you want to win a fight, here are some tips you can't skip.

The Surprising Way to Win a Fight Every Time

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When it comes to fighting, author Michelle McKinney Hammond doesn't pull any punches. If you want to win a fight, here are some tips you can't skip.


Everyone knows the feeling: an argument is brewing, the lump in your throat is forming and you’re gathering your breath to have your opinion heard. Your opinion which is totally the right one, by the way. You won’t rest until the other person has changed their mind and admitted the error of their ways.

If you’re looking to truly win a fight, Michelle McKinney Hammond has the advice that proves successful every single time, without fail, though it may look different than expected.

First things first, Michelle says, “Decide if you want to be right or if you want the relationship.” If you’re gearing up for a fight, it’s important to stop, take a deep breath and recognize that anything said in the heat of the moment can make or break a relationship. Sometimes, when we refuse to stand down from our opinion, we “end up standing alone.”

RELATED CONTENT: How to Resolve Conflict the Right Way

We have to be able to remove the emotion from the situation. Listen and discuss instead of attacking.

“If they’re busy defending themselves, they can’t hear a word you said,” Michelle points out. The conversation will go nowhere unless expectations are clearly and calmly expressed. If something is bothering you, take a moment to do some self-evaluation and figure out why, so you can explain it in a productive way.

In every fight, remember this: “The goal should never be to win, but to come to a place of understanding.” This requires listening to and accepting feedback. Whether or not one side is persuaded to change their opinion, resolution can be reached through mutual respect.

The ultimate prize of winning an argument in the right way? Watch the video above to hear more from Michelle McKinney Hammond about the best part of a fight fought well.


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