Millennials are independent creatures, but many people I know are still hopeful they will find someone with whom to spend their life, even while our modern society places significance on being individualistic. Independence is important, and it is valuable to be self-sustainable. However, it is okay to admit if you are someone who wants to find a significant other. These two concepts do not have to be mutually exclusive. I believe the key to finding the “right” person, the soul mate we grow up hearing about, might be finding the balance between these two seemingly contrasting views.
In this day and age, women especially are taught to be independent, and much importance is placed on the ability to be alone. Despite this, some of the most independent people I know still want to find a mate. By and large, human beings are social creatures and we thrive off of interaction with the people around us. We are told we do not need a man to complete us, but I believe women can be their own person while also actively searching for a partner.
My theory is this: fall in love with you.
When I say that, I do not mean to argue you should only be focused on yourself. Instead, be focused on the best person you can be. Seek to better yourself and go out of your comfort zone whenever you can. Find your value in more than a headshot and a profile. Think about your characteristics that you love and consider the qualities you do not like. We all have room for improvement. We can all be better and do better.
When you do meet someone, you will most likely want to be the best version of yourself for him or her. This isn’t to say you need their approval, but you may find you want it.
When we care about others, we want to make them proud and enrich their life the way they have enriched our own. Become the person with whom you want your future significant other to fall in love with–but do it for you. Try new things, listen to differing opinions and open yourself up to discovering ideas. The “someone” will follow, and when they do it will be the right person because you took time to invest in your potential.
Along your journey of independent discovery and renewal, you will become a better version of yourself and you may just find someone else doing the same.