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6 Reasons Not to Find Out Your Baby’s Gender

When I decided not to find out my baby's gender, I got mixed reactions. But I'm here to explain why you might want to wait to find out your baby's gender.
Photo by Eric Froehling on Unsplash


From the moment you tell people you’re pregnant, you immediately field a ton of excited questions. People are anxious to hear about your pregnancy and intentionally ask you about your plans. One question that I’ve gotten a lot is “Are you going to find out the gender of your baby?” And the answer, in short, is no.

But you know what’s really surprised me? That people can’t believe we aren’t going to find out. Or that we’ve gotten more negative responses than positive. We know we aren’t the norm, so I’m here to clear up some of the confusion as to why you might want to wait to find out your baby’s gender until they’re born.

1. You’ll be in for the biggest, best surprise ever.

I’m a huge, huge surprise lover. Like seriously—if someone plans me a surprise anything (date, party, etc.), I’m theirs forever. But what better surprise than finding out at the very moment of your child’s birth if they are a boy or a girl? The anticipation of finding out is my favorite part, and I’m happy to wait for that surprise at the end.

2. You’ll get neutral items that you can use for future children.

I’ve been to many baby showers where the majority of gifts are clothes. It’s handy to have cute clothes gifted to you, but we’re okay with secondhand outfits and borrowing items once baby is born. Plus, we’re looking forward to getting lots and lots of diapers, and other bigger items or gender neutral onesies to reuse someday.

3. It will give you extra motivation in labor and delivery.

Pregnant woman in striped dress.

Photo by Arseniuk Olena/

I know: meeting your baby alone is super motivating. But, if I’m honest, I’m not a huge fan of hospitals, and I’m a little anxious about the whole delivery thing. If I have my eye on the prize, meeting my sweet baby and finding out if they are a boy or a girl, I think it will be huge motivation for me.

4. There will truly be no disappointment.

I think it’s going to be pretty dang hard to be disappointed with either a boy or a girl when we’re so caught up in finally knowing, and meeting, our little one. There’s not a lot of time to sit and think about their gender being any different when they’re already in your arms the moment you find out.

The anticipation of finding out is my favorite part, and I’m happy to wait for that surprise at the end.

5. It takes the pressure off names and other people’s opinions.

We already have names that we like, but we’re keeping them a secret for now. That way we avoid hearing everyone’s opinions or cautions on the names we truly like. In addition to names, we’re also lessening the pressure of everyone’s initial expectations for baby based on revealing their sex alone (especially those who don’t really know us well).

6. It will help you enjoy every step of pregnancy.

Some folks say it would kill them not to know, which is fine. You do what you have to do. But for us, we feel like not knowing is helping practice some of the patience that we’ll need so much of as we parent. We’ve got the rest of our baby’s life to know his or her gender, and we honestly feel like waiting four more months won’t hurt.

I tend to want to rush to the next step or stage in life, so we are consciously making this choice as a part of our desire to slow down and enjoy every step of the journey. This is just one way we’re enjoying these sweet little moments as our family of two becomes three.