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Approach Dating in a Whole New Way With This Perspective Shift


Dating can teach us so much about ourselves. So, I often ask myself, "What can I learn from the process?" Here are five ways to approach dating.
Photo by Bogdan Sonjachnyj/

So, you’re going to date. And just with those few words, it feels like the pressure is on. But what if there wasn’t any pressure? What if there was a different, healthier, more effective way to date? What if dating was more about the process to prepare you for love rather than a frantic race to find it?

What if we could look at romantic relationships like we look at school, asking ourselves, “What can I learn while I’m experiencing this?”As I shifted my perspective on this subject, I found myself enjoying the whole experience of dating more. Let’s take a look at what we might learn in the process.

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Good communication is like a muscle we have to build, so no better time than the present to start building.

1. Learn about your heart’s desire.

Do you really know your heart’s truest desire when it comes to your future mate? The process of dating can help you discover what you truly desire in real, human form. What if we asked our heart to help us become aware of what we really desire in a mate?

2. Learn about others.

People are so different from one another, and the truth is, no one is perfect. We have to decide what we want, and dating gives us a way to simply learn about others. People are interesting, but if he/she doesn’t end up being the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with, that’s okay. What qualities do they have that you might desire in your future spouse? Take note.

What if dating was more about the process to prepare you for love rather than a frantic race to find it?

3. Learn about yourself.

The best way to be happy with someone is to learn to be happy alone. That way, the company will be a matter of choice and not of necessity.” —Unknown

Taking time to learn about ourselves, our tendencies, our likes and dislikes, our habits and our reactions can help us tremendously in our dating experience. In order to understand how we work with another person, I’ve learned that we need to get to know ourselves better.

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4. Learn about the opposite sex.

If you’re anything like me, you may have fears of the unknown, AKA the opposite sex. I didn’t grow up around men: I had no brothers and I didn’t live with my father. So, men were very mysterious creatures to me. Maybe there’s something you don’t understand about the opposite sex. Dating can help you gain insight.

5. Encourage another human.

I once heard someone say, “If you want to know if someone needs encouragement, just look to see if they are breathing.” The truth is, we as humans are all dealing with the same insecurities, fears and feelings of not being enough. So, what if we looked at dating as an opportunity to encourage another human who happens to be on the same journey as us, in search of their ideal partner?

As hard as it is, learning to be upfront and honest with someone is so important. I will admit, this isn’t easy for me, but as I talk to my friends, both men and women, I hear the same thing: “I just wish they would tell me what’s going on. I wish they would be honest with me about their feelings or where they are in our relationship.”

The key to a good, healthy marriage is good, healthy communication. So, let’s practice while we’re dating. Good communication is like a muscle we have to build; there’s no better time than the present to start building.

Do your best to enjoy this season of life, to enjoy dating. Be you and love the learning opportunity in every situation.


You don’t need to depend on someone for your own happiness.