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17 Awful but Amazing Christian Puns Guaranteed to Make You Smile

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Need a quick chuckle on a hard day? Here are 17 Christian puns that will definitely bring a smile to your face.


Puns. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, you can’t really escape them! The whimsical yet absolutely corny humor we’ve all come to tolerate or love is one that takes surprising wit and skill to nail. A short, sweet and endlessly silly statement that will leave you shaking your head with a chuckle isn’t the worst thing in the world, is it? Especially when it comes to puns in the Christian world, now we’re talking about a wealth of punny fodder.

With that in mind, here are 17 goofy Christian puns that are sure to put a smile on your face:

Need an Ark built? | ‘cause I definitely Noah guy.

Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? |  He was in ‘de Nile.

How does Moses make his coffee? | Hebrews it.

What were Lot’s last words to his wife? |“Pass the salt.”

How did the apostles get to the last supper? |By car, they were in one Accord.

Who was the smartest man in the Bible? | Abraham. He knew a Lot.

How long did Cain hate his brother? |As long as he was Abel.

What kind of man was Boaz before he married? | Ruthless.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? | Samson—he really brought the house down!

What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage? | The Great Commission.

At what time of day was Adam created? | A little before Eve.

What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car? | A convertible.

Who’s the patron saint of poverty? | St. Nickeless.

What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car? | A convertible.

Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? | To get to the other side.

How do groups of angels greet each other? | “Halo, halo, halo!”

What do they call pastors in Germany? | A German Shepherd.